Tables Turned

‘Caring Chinese Families Rescue Impoverished Aussie Orphans’
(a fictitious docu-drama)
Written by Liu Mei-Mei

The year 2020.  The USA, Australia and Europe have plunged into economic meltdown.  Prolonged severe drought and massive hurricanes have devastated both Australia’s coastline and farmland.  Worldwide fuel shortages have led to the unthinkable – war has broken out on Australian soil as countries desperately battle for control of Australia’s uranium.  As a result, thousands of impoverished Aussie families are forced to relinquish their children just to survive.

China now leads the world.  One of China’s leading actresses, Li Wei, launches a noble international campaign, “Save Aussie Orphans”.  It coincides with skyrocketing infertility rates in China.  Thousands of people from China’s wealthier classes have signed up to join tours to Australia to rescue Aussie orphans.

At Sydney International Airport:  live TV coverage of the first group of Chinese adoptive parents, led by Li Wei herself.

Li Wei coos:  “I’m sooo delighted to be able to give these absolutely adorable Aussie children loving homes and a better chance in life in China.  Australia is such a quaint country – so exotic! But (sighs) it’s just so poor.  One does feel deeply sorry for them all.  I wish that there was more that I could do for them.  Oh well, I guess by assisting Chinese families to adopt these little Aussie cuties, I’m doing my teeny, weeny bit to save these dear souls!

But how dare the Department of Child Safety take so long and ask us so many questions!  Meanwhile there are literally thousands of Aussie children languishing in orphanages, crying out for love, on the verge of death!  Yet DOCS is standing in our way to rescue these little tykes and give them a better home in China where we can provide them with the best of care.”

Journalist:  “Why did you choose Australia, Ms Li?”

Li Wei’s face darkens:  “We had first considered the USA but with all the huge drug use and AIDS over there, you never know what you’ll get…. And besides, many places insist that we be Christians.  How ridiculously discriminatory!  Like, how many families in China are Christian??  I mean, what’s really essential is that we provide a loving, caring home – not our religion, right?  So I decided to go for Australia since we’d heard it was a lot easier and quicker, fewer questions, etc; But we were so wrong!

And we adopted from a tiny town called… Wu something (laughs)…oh I really know so little about Australia, let alone its geography, it’s such a BIG empty country compared to China!  Ah, that’s it, Wu Long Gong!  How funny!  It means ‘Five Working Dragons’ translated into Chinese.”

The TV camera zooms in on Li Wei holding up her newly adopted Australian daughter, a blonde-haired baby swathed in bright red, Chinese-style clothes and a bright, gold-coloured hair ornament dangling from her few locks of hair.

Li Wei:  “Look! Isn’t our little Hsing Hsing (that’s what we’ve named her – it means Lucky Lucky in Chinese) just so totally cute!  We absolutely bonded immediately – and she never cries.  I just knew at first sight that she was for us!

When I get back to Beijing my friends and family will organise a big welcome party for Hsing Hsing – complete with Chinese streamers, Chinese firecrackers and good ol’ traditional Chinese delicacies!  She’ll be a Chinese local in no time!

But we’ll make absolutely sure that little Hsing Hsing knows about her Aussie heritage.  We’ve already hooked up with literally hundreds of other Chinese couples who are also adopting from Australia.  We’ll organise Aussie-style BBQs – many of the parents have already bought Aussie-style hats and cookbooks.  I’ve even personally bought cute koalas and Aboriginal artefacts to decorate my home and plan on taking Hsing Hsing to Australia Day events in China.  And we’ll get together to teach the kiddies Australian songs like ‘Waltzing Matilda’ – this may take some time since many of the families hardly speak a word of English.”

Li Wei starts gaily humming the tune to Hsing Hsing then turns a more earnest face back to the camera, “You know, some families are so keen to help Australia out of its plight that they’ve even pledged to send money back to the villages in Australia as a donation – you know, a genuine gesture from the heart to those less fortunate than us Chinese.”

The distant roar of the jet engines grows louder as the overhead speakers announce, “Final boarding call for Flight CA1017 bound for Beijing.”

Li Wei picks up her newly adopted baby’s tiny hand and excitedly waves it at the camera as she turns towards the roaring airplane.  “C’mon Hsing Hsing – now say ‘Zai jian! Zai jian!’ Li Wei winks at the camera.  “That’s ‘bye bye’ in Chinese!”

TV camera zooms in on Hsing Hsing who stares blankly back at the camera, her hair ornament dangling in the breeze.

In the mood

Now the darkness only stays the night-time
In the morning it will fade away
Daylight is good at arriving at the right time
It’s not always going to be this grey

Coming into the middle of a discussion

One of the funniest passages from a book I ever read:

…Amerasian children in Vietnam. Pathetically, the children sing “We Are the World” in broken English.

From Darrell Y. Hamamoto’s book, Monitored Peril

Another thoughtless remark from a ‘well-meaning’ Westerner

Although much of Vietnam is comparatively primitive, Ina says that Saigon reminds her of Paris. There are many lovely French-style buildings and sidewalk cafes dating from the French occupation. While it is possible to starve in Saigon, it is also possible to eat a lavish gourmet meal accompanied by a twenty-dollar bottle of vintage wine.

A Gift of Love: Women Power at Work in Vietnam by Elizabeth Lehrman

I love White Men

I love White Men
I hate Asian Men
I hate myself
I love White Men
I hate Asian Men
I hate myself
I love White Men
I hate Asian Men
I hate myself…

Repeat this to yourself every day in the mirror
In your subconscious
In your waking dreams

This is what it was like to grow up
In my house
In my community
In my nation
In my world

Neighborhood Watch

Took a drive around the Neighborhood to look and see who had their lights on and what kind of decorations they had put out for the Neighbors to ‘ooh-and-ahh’ over. Boy, I got an eye full and I even took some pictures. Here they are:

73adoptee

…talking about these aspects of adoption is a yucky business, but if you don’t clean the wound it’s going to fester. And I can GUARANTEE you, if you maintain this attitude after adopting, you will do nothing but alienate the person you adopt.

a birth project

I heard someone say that when white parents adopt internationally it is because of “racism” and for many years white Americans adopting internationally adopted many more Asian and Latino children than African children. It seems reasonable to say that these choices reflect the existing racial hierarchy in this country.  At the very least, it is certainly true some white parents choose not to adopt children of African descent because they do not feel capable of dealing with the racism they know these children will confront. I thought about that comment for quite a while, and after I sat with it for a bit, I realized that, yes, racism certainly can play a part in some parents’ decisions – but what kind of racism are we talking about?

Adopt This!

It’s funny how life works out.

Ahhh my brother and me…

Whenever we meet new people together and they learn that we are siblings, their first response is always the same:

You don’t LOOK like brother and sister.

And it’s true. We don’t. Not at all.

But we are. How could we not be?

He’s the only brother I’ve ever known.

Ethnically Incorrect Daughter

What happens to us is often the results of choices we make.  Sometimes, it’s the result of choices others make.  Sometimes, the course of our lives is the result of a combination of the two.  Sometimes, our choices are based on the choices others make.  Still, there are other times when life just happens and then we’re ultimately left with a choice.  The options presented to us aren’t always ideal and sometimes we just make really bad decisions.  The point is that in the end, it’s what we – and sometimes those connected to us – do that decides not necessarily the destination but the path we take to get there.

It Came From The Cabbage Patch

There is some debate out there about who’s responsible for what when it comes to keeping the relationship going; adoptees should be more considerate of their mothers, mothers should be more considerate of their children, it goes on and on. Both sides want the validation we seek and deserve.

JJ Trenka

You don’t have to be ashamed. Many people lost their children to adoption. It is not all your fault. Even if Korean society doesn’t understand that yet, the adoptees understand that. He doesn’t come to blame you. He comes simply because he wants his mother. That person is you. Of all the people in the world, only you can fill that hole in his heart.

Julia’s JAM

Another beautiful poem by our Julia – I think it speaks for itself.

Living, laughing, whining…as a Korean adoptee

We hurt ourselves

I Live

I may not be lauded for picking through the ashes; I may not be praised for interrogating skeletons; and, I may not have any awards bestowed upon me for mapping out the inconsistencies; but, at least I live to honor the truth.

With you in mind

I’d gladly lose me to find you
I’d gladly give up all I had
To find you I’d suffer anything and be glad

I’d pay any price just to get you
I’d work all my life and I will
To win you I’d stand naked, stoned and stabbed

I’d call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

- Bargain, The Who -

1st Annual Gathering of AFAAD

November 7-9, 2008

1st Annual Gathering for Adoptees and Foster Care Alums of African Descent:

Healing Ourselves, Making Connections

Announcing the 1st annual gathering of adoptees (transracial/international and same race) and foster care alums of African descent in Oakland, California, November 7-9, 2008.

AFAAD (Adopted and Fostered Adults of the African Diaspora) was formed specifically to support adopted and fostered people, to share our common and divergent experiences around race, adoption, joy, loss, family, search and reunion, and self identity and to celebrate our unique creativity, stories and community. AFAAD’s First Annual Gathering, Healing Ourselves, Making Connections is designed with you mind.

The purpose of this historic gathering will be to make connections, network, provide healing space, and to celebrate the diversity of our amazing diaspora of transracial, international, domestic adoptees and foster care alums. AFAAD uses “Black” in the widest diasporic sense, which includes African, African American, bi-racial and multi heritage, Afroasian and Afrolatino peoples. Healing Ourselves, Making Connections is the first of its kind for Black adoptees and foster adults and we know it will make a huge contribution to the conversations about adoption, race, social welfare and African diasporic identity – not to mention just bringing all of us together in one space is going to be amazing! It is time to share our stories with one another, rather than always teaching other people. We will also take some time for the strategic planning for the long-term goals of AFAAD as a social justice and community support organization.

Rev. Father Fantasy

Several years ago a fellow Vietnamese adoptee had given me copies of articles written before and during Operation Babylift for a project I was doing back then. While flipping through them recently, I came across a rather disturbing, yet intriguing, letter written by a Rev. Robert Griffin back in 1974 that probably expressed a common sentiment at that time. The bulk of the letter’s content is simply Griffin heaping praise upon Betty Tisdale’s work at An Lac Orphanage.

But, what really caught my eye are the excerpts below. Considering that our language has become a little more sophisticated when talking about adopting children internationally, let me know if Rev. Griffin’s words make you raise your eyebrows just a little:

Letters To A Lonely God: the children’s hour by Reverend Robert Griffin
The Observer, Friday, 03/22/74

…I dreamed of life as an adventure of imperishable beauty, the most flawless situation I could imagine for myself was to be a missionary priest, standing in a rice paddy, surrounded by Chinese children.

Now, twenty years after my ordination in 1954, I am again dreaming a young man’s fantasy of going to Asia, perhaps for the summer, looking for the rice paddy of my vision, where the little children have been waiting all the years of my life.

On Sunday mornings, when the children at their Mass bring me nickels and dimes and quarters as offerings, that money will become the gift of the urchins of Notre Dame to the urchins of An Lac Orphanage in Vietnam.

After the tragedy of the Vietnam war, I am not sure what shape the rice paddies might be in, or whether children can go there to play with stout missionaries.